My friend told me that she was raped when she was 14. She quickly changed the subject. I want to talk to her about it. But I don't want to upset her. What should I do? – Laurel* Sometimes friends want us to know stuff that's happened to them so we can understand them better. But even when people share information about themselves, they may not be ready to talk about it. Talking can bring up painful memories. Your friend may want to talk more about it with you, or she may not. You can simply be honest: Let her know you are willing to listen if she ever wants to talk more about it, but you don't want to upset her by bringing it up. That way, she knows you are open to hearing more and you leave the decision up to her. You also could ask your friend if she has ever talked to a counselor about what happened. Lots of places have rape crisis hotlines or centers. They are staffed with professionals who are trained to listen and help. Even if you don't talk more about this together, your friend knows she has someone who is willing to listen and care. And you have a friend who is willing to confide. That means a lot. *Names have been changed to protect user privacy. Back to Articles Related Articles Rape Rape is forced, unwanted sexual intercourse. Rape is about power, not sex. Both men and women of any age can be raped. Find out what you can do and how to take care of yourself after a rape. Read More Date Rape About half of people who have been raped know the person who attacked them. This article explains what date rape is, how to protect yourself, and what to do if you've been raped. Read More Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Sometimes after experiencing a traumatic event, a person has a strong and lingering reaction known as posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Getting treatment and support can make all the difference. Read More What It Means to Be a Friend Thousands of you filled out our friendship survey. Find out what some of you said about being a good friend. Read More Asking for Help: Getting Past Obstacles Sometimes our ideas and beliefs stand in the way of asking for help. Here are ideas for teens on how to get past 5 common barriers to getting help. Read More Abusive Relationships Abuse has no place in love. Read this article to find out how to recognize the signs of abuse and how you can get help. Read More Note: All information is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice, diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor. © 1995-2021 KidsHealth®. All rights reserved. Images provided by The Nemours Foundation, iStock, Getty Images, Veer, Shutterstock, and Clipart.com.