Published: August 8, 2025
Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
Our pediatricians understand the unique health care needs of adolescents and can provide guidance on sexual health education and development.
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Your child is now old enough for “the talk.” You’re probably wondering, where do you start? What do you say? How do you discuss details without making it weird? For many parents, talking to teens about sex and relationships can feel awkward or overwhelming. These conversations, however, are among the most important ones you’ll have with your teenager.
“Research consistently shows that adolescents who can communicate openly with their parents about sexual health are more likely to make informed, responsible decisions about their bodies and relationships,” said Heather M. Felton, M.D., pediatrician with Norton Children’s Medical Group.
When parents avoid discussing sexual health, teens don’t stop wondering about these topics or avoid experimentation. They end up turning to other sources for information, like their peers, social media and the internet — which often provide incomplete or inaccurate information.
When it comes to sex and relationships, your teenager needs reliable, medically accurate guidance from someone who cares about their well-being. Open parent-teen communication about sexual health helps teenagers develop personal boundaries and critical thinking skills about how they interact in relationships.
Sexual health education isn’t a single conversation; it’s an ongoing dialogue that evolves as your teen grows and matures. Here are some important tips to remember before having “the talk” with them.
Choose the right moment. Look for natural opportunities rather than scheduling formal talks. Using current events or situations involving friends also can provide a more natural way to ease into the conversation.
Take their questions. Let your teenager’s curiosity guide the conversation. When they ask questions, respond honestly and age-appropriately. If you don’t know an answer, say, “That’s a great question. Let me find some accurate information, and we can talk about it together.”
Stay calm and approachable. Your tone and body language matter more than having the perfect words. Teens are more likely to continue coming to you with questions if they feel heard rather than judged.
There are several topics that should be included in your conversations with your teen about sex and relationships. Below are examples of important talking points to bring up, along with example scripts to use.
Consent and communication
Consent means that both people actively agree to any physical activity, from holding hands to sexual intimacy. It’s not just about saying “yes” once; it’s an ongoing conversation where either person can change their mind at any time. For sexual health, consent ensures that all experiences are safe, respectful and wanted by everyone involved.
Example conversation starter: “I’ve been thinking about how important it is that you feel comfortable in any relationship you have. Can we talk about what it means to have clear communication with someone you’re dating? Both people should always feel OK saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to anything, and that includes changing their mind.”
Contraception and using protection
Contraception refers to methods that prevent pregnancy and protect against sexually transmitted infections (STIs). These can include barrier methods like condoms, hormonal methods like birth control pills and long-acting methods like IUDs. [GA1] Understanding contraception is paramount to sexual health, because it allows people to make informed decisions about their bodies and futures.
Example conversation starter: “If you ever decide you’re ready to be sexually active, I want you to have accurate information about protection. There are several methods that can prevent pregnancy and STIs, and it’s important that both partners take responsibility for this. Can we talk about the different options available?”
STIs
STIs are infections that can be passed from one person to another through sexual contact. Understanding STIs is essential for sexual health, because knowledge leads to prevention, early detection and proper treatment.
STIs are very common. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that young people ages 15 to 24 account for half of the 20 million new STIs that occur annually in the U.S., despite representing only about 25% of the sexually active population. Most STIs are easily treatable or manageable with proper medical care.
Example conversation starter: “I know there’s a lot of confusing information out there about STIs. The truth is, they’re more common than many people think, and most are easily treatable when caught early. Getting tested is just part of taking care of your health, like getting a physical.”
Healthy relationship dynamics
Healthy relationship dynamics involve patterns where both people feel respected, valued and free to be themselves. This includes open communication, mutual support and respect for boundaries. Regarding sexual health, healthy relationship dynamics create an environment where people feel safe discussing their needs, boundaries and concerns without fear of judgment or punishment.
Example conversation starter: “I want you to know what to look for in a healthy relationship. Good relationships involve both people feeling respected, heard and free to be their own person. If someone tries to control who you spend time with or pressures you to do things you’re not comfortable with, those are red flags.”
Your child’s pediatrician is a great resource for teen sexual health education. They can provide medically accurate information, address specific concerns and help facilitate conversations about your teen’s sexual health and relationships.
“Regardless of your family’s values or beliefs, it’s crucial to have these discussions with your teenager,” Dr. Felton said. “Having these discussions does not increase the likelihood that your child may engage in sexual activity, and it’s better to make sure your child is informed rather than making assumptions about what they know or don’t know. Even if it feels awkward, letting your child know they can approach you for guidance or help is part of being a good parent.”
As your adolescent gets older, they may benefit from having some private time with their health care provider to ask questions they might feel uncomfortable discussing with parents present.
“If you don’t feel comfortable broaching this topic directly, consider starting by letting your teen know that their pediatrician is always available to answer questions confidentially,” Dr. Felton said.
Every family’s approach will be a little different, influenced by personal values and individual circumstances. Maintaining an open and honest dialogue will help your teenager feel supported and informed.