Dating violence red flags: 11 signs of an abusive relationship

Nearly 10 percent of high school students report having experienced either physical dating violence or sexual dating violence.

Author: Norton Children’s

Published: March 18, 2018 | Updated: March 8, 2021

Intimate partner violence and sexual violence are both serious and significant public health problems, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Nearly 10 percent of high school students report having experienced either physical dating violence or sexual dating violence.

Many victims first encounter sexual violence before their 18th birthday. Findings from the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey show that sexual violence is common in both male and female youth, and usually is committed by someone the victim knows.

Young people need to learn what healthy relationships look like and the importance of speaking up if dating violence occurs. Learn to recognize these red flags of abusive dating relationships:

Learn more about dating violence

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Red flags of an abusive relationship

  • Checking someone’s cellphone, emails or social networks without permission.
  • Extreme jealousy or insecurity.
  • Constant belittling or put-downs.
  • Explosive temper.
  • Isolating someone from family and friends.
  • Making false accusations.
  • Erratic mood swings.
  • Physically inflicting pain or hurt in any way.
  • Possessiveness.
  • Telling someone what to do.
  • Repeatedly pressuring someone to have sex.

Dating violence does not discriminate — it can happen in any type of relationship, including a relationship that is serious or casual, monogamous or polygamous, short-term or long-term, gay or straight.

Help bring an end to teen dating violence by recognizing the signs, educating teens you know and intervening to protect the ones you love.

Visit www.ItsOnUs.org to take the pledge to commit to helping create a culture of consent, bystander intervention and survivor support.